He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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