some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
