I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
