The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
