Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
