im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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