Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
