all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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