He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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