i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
