Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
