Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
