dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
