I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
