bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
