do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
