And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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