He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
