if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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