She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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