we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just want nice things and good sex
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
