Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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