They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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