he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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