Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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