If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
