ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
