i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
