Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so let's talk penis.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
