we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize