Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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