obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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