Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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