Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
