so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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