wanna go halves on a baby?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
