Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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