Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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