Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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