how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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