It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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