I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pants are for mortals
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
