hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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