Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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