how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
