dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize