508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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