Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize