Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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