Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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