So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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