i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
