my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
