Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
