i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
