I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
