Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
