Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
